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| The Art of Deal: life and challenges | | |
Er Jaleel Wani
“My life, my choices, my mistakes and my lessons, not your business”, Before you will say all these things I want to put my experiences forward and I hope you will definitely get some insight about this great life and situations you will come across. Life which is off course beautiful but not always easy, it has problems too, and the challenge lies in facing them with courage, letting the beauty of life act like a balm, which makes the pain bearable, during trying times, by providing hope. There are problems where there are no easy solution. There is past that can't be changed. Future is again something we don't know about. So what is left is present. What is most important is what we do now. It will make our present and future together. One need to be careful in one's present to expect a slightly regrettable past and somewhat acceptable future. So you need to focus on your present. Forget about past worries. You can’t undo them. Let you focus on present and that will define future for you.
Second important thing is when we focus too much, excessively on any particular thing, we become so much involved that we are least able to differentiate between right and wrong. This does not resolve our problem and we don't move forward. Life remains same and same, problems occur again and again.
The reason being you don't address something more important which would have had multiplier impact on our life. Sorting out more important things make little issues manageable or provides an easy way out or some strong capacity to deal with other issues. For example if I don't have food because I don't work. Here I have two options. One to keep thinking how poor I am and how unjust world and God has been to me. Second option is to put the shoes on and find some work. I will have not just food but some sweets too in the evening. That is what is addressing the important issues first.
The other important thing is that there is no law in the world that tells us to do nothing in a situation which is very painful for us. Suffering till the time it is optional should be avoided at any cost but sometimes we can't avoid it. To suffer is the only choice we have, sometimes. Be like nature. Be like a mother. A mother performs her duties (Forgiving, caring, forgetting Etc.) under all circumstances. That is what nature does. There is a set pattern in nature that it follows. Sun does not rise on its own will. Nature has set a pattern and follows it since the very beginning. Weather could be unpredictable, not mornings and evenings. We have never heard somebody saying that it has been days to see an evening or a morning in the subcontinent While we do say it has not rained for quite a good time now.
Again an important issue is thinking of welfare of our own self only or reacting in certain ways without caring about the impact it will have on the other person or the side. Well it is not bad. My peace is my responsibility and I need to protect it at any cost. Similarly the other person has that sort of responsibility too. The problem occurs when two people love each other. In such situations the difference between self gets blurred and there is some sort of internal disagreement about one's own interest. In love we tend not to be selfish. We are not what we are in love. We tend to be biased to both the sides. We may not be ready to accept the reality as it is. We create, sometimes happiness and sometimes suffering. Now how we remember is what we create more. Some people call it a happy affair while others as nightmares. It is what they created more.
Another issue is an existential thought which is not bad off course. But there is a proper time for questions. Questions demand certain context. An irrelevant question should ideally be not answered because the time is not right and also the answer may not be very convincing. For example the question of death should come in mind ideally at relatively old age. The youth is not about death. It is about life, energy, beauty and creation. Youth is beautiful because it is simply beautiful. It is about having dreams and putting efforts to fulfill them. It is about action. It is about imagination. It is about idealism. Yes it is about all these beautiful things. One can continue with the same things even in an old age. It is however generally accepted that in our old age we think more about the end rather than beginning.
Last but not the least a successful life is one where the problems of life are thought peacefully and addressed swiftly and accordingly. So we need to maintain a certain level of stability to live a healthy and successful life. Peace is a powerful weapon. It leads to efficient thinking. And all solutions lie in different thoughts. So one will have to accept the life. After acceptance comes celebration. We can't celebrate something that we don't accept. So let us accept the life or the situations we are in and eventually we will learn how to celebrate it too.
So you need to sort out these issues by addressing them, may be one after another. All issues can't be sorted out at once. Take one problem at a time and try to fix it and continue it. Life will never be without challenges. The nature of challenges may change but not the challenges. Therefore the management of life is a permanent profession. It is not a part time job or a contractual one. Remember we are the permanent professors of life and also the biggest truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation and realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. |
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