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| A tribute to my father | | | 
Arjun Singh Rathore
Ram Rattan Rathore, my father and the first good man I have ever loved. It’s because of the man he was and the example he set, that I am able to love mankind with deep passion and appreciation. On 20th December,2019 I completed the 50th year of my birth, and he was on the bad in hospital with hardly any remembrance of the day which use to be a big celebration every year, but still I was “Day’s little pampered boy” and you know what, I loved it. I didn’t enter this world through his body, but I entered the world through his heart. The bond we shared was unlike any other connection.
Daddy, I love you for an infinite number of reasons, I feel so blessed to have you as my father and I’m thankful for the wonderful life you gave me. I would like to celebrate you every day of my life as a magnificent man, a loyal human being, a loving husband, a devoted father and a true friend. Thank you for being an overprotective father. Please know that my list of gratitude is endless and continues to grow with each passing day.
There was always a special bond with my father and that bond kept on building the strength over the time. I was privileged, honoured and extremely lucky to be the only son to my father. As I reflect over the years that we shared together, he was a great dad. He always lead by example, and taught me numerous life lessons of what it takes to become a man.
It was 26th December 2019, when you left us. It is almost eleven months but to me it feels like an eternity. I still wake up in the morning thinking this is a nightmare and you’re not really gone. At nights I look at the sky and make a wish on the brightest star I see and I believe it is you. You always told us we grieve for ourselves because the deceased are in a better place and I know that is true, but I still miss you terribly. For the last couple of years I watched you in endure pain. I prayed and pleaded with God to heal you. Towards the end of your life I was so angry that my prayers were not answered. You were not supposed to die while getting ready to have your lunch; it seemed like such a cruel death sentence for such a good man.
Thank you for falling madly in love with my mother, Amar Kotwal and marrying her 52 years back. Thank you for showing me that man can actually love women faithfully and unconditionally- for a lifetime. But now watching Mama mourn you is unbearable, there are times I’m certain I can hear the sounds of her heart breaking. I watched Ma selflessly care for you throughout your marriage.
As your health began to fail, Ma was the one breathing life into you each day. You and Ma showed me what true and unconditional love looks like.
A father is the one who guides his children through life, and now even in death you are guiding me. You are constantly showing me that love never dies. You speak to me through feathers, music and if I listen closely I can still hear your voice.
There is so much of you in me that I think I frighten Ma sometimes. I have your sense of humor and share your love for life. Ma is always telling me I have your looks and heart, of both an angry young man as well as a romantic heartthrob.
You never, forget about the word discrimination, made any differences among we the three siblings. In fact like a superhero to every daughter, you always paid an extra attention to both my sisters. And you are a superstar to all your grandchildren. For my entire existence we spoke every single day, even when I was posted in Doda in early 2k when the connectivity was very poor. But that’s 50 years of saying “I love you”, 50 years of being a Daddy’s pampered baby, 50 years of feeling safe, 50 years pure & unconditional love. And now just like that you are gone.
Since you have gone I have received endless people who came to mourn you and all of them shared a number of interesting episodes of your life but all of them ended their version of stories by telling me what a great man you were. In your service carrier you never hesitated in helping the needy by providing the job opportunities.
Daddy, I promise you that I will always lead by example to be a man like you. Like you I will always care of, protect, and be the provider for my family, and always give them unconditional love. As you told me don’t ever be afraid to make mistakes, just make sure you always learn from them, will always remain the mantra for my personal as well as professional life.
I will always carry your pain and suffering in my heart, but I can also see my father, my superhero, the strongest man in the world. The man who raised me, the man who is my ideal and my best friend. These days I count how long you have gone in milestones. Even though I can no longer hear your voice, I still see your face and I can feel your love. You’re still with me, in my laughter, my smile, and my tears and in my writing.
This write-up is a part of common grief with all my family members and friends who lost their loved ones, because loved ones never die, they simply evolve. Grief is an inevitable part of life, but that doesn’t make navigating it any easier. The deep sorrow that accompanies the death of a loved one is real. But while grief is universal, we all grieve differently. Let’s talk about living with loss so that the pain and sorrow can be shared.
I know even if you are not in this world to protect me, you are right in heavens serving as my guardian angel. I can feel your presence in my life every day.... Although I always knew you are one in a million kind of father but now I come to realize that no one can ever be like you in my life. Today (11th of November) it’s your birthday and I miss you badly, but still I wish you a wonderful birthday up in heavens that is filled with peace, love and happiness. |
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