news details |
|
|
| A Maiden Offer | | | Jaskaran Singh Dhami
'Offer', 'Special Offer', 'Mega Offer', 'A Rare Offer', 'Incredible Offer' are some of the expressions I am familiar with, which appear in the Indian newspapers or handouts or banners, in the font style and size which blare out to catch our eyes. 'Sale Dhamaka' and 'Mahan Sale Offer' etc are the Hindi substitutes of these, which make me wonder why don't we think of using Hindi words for 'sale' or 'offer'. The word 'Loot' (our contribution to English Language) also often adorns the offer or sale ads along with aforementioned titles. These 'offers' are generally aimed at attracting the attention of 'fairer sex' since these mostly pertain to the thingamajigs which belong to the arena where they call the shots.
But the bizarre 'offer' which I came across in an Indian newspaper (a news item pertaining to this strange offer), lifted from an Italian magazine Chi (not 'Shi'!) is exclusively for the 'unfair sex' (anyway, what's the opposite of 'fair sex?) I leave it to you to select an adjective out of 'Mahan', 'Dhamaka' 'Mega' or any other suitable adjective to go with the word 'offer' for the 'coveted item' which is, yes, 'on offer' in this case. The item put 'on offer' by an Italian model and aspiring actress, Raffella Fico (hold your breath!) is her 'virginity'. Yes the word 'virginity' here means exactly what it means in relation to the female anatomy.
The reports about auction of the 'angvastrams' (including bras and panties amongst other 'not so inflammable' wear) of Hollywood stars or other 'videshi' celebrities flummox me though I do not belong to that pretentious puritan clan and not averse to have some spice in life. Understandably, the persons who sell these 'rarities' undertake this rag-trade to rake in moolah, but what bamboozles me is the use these searing rags (or glad-rags) the much envied 'loaded' buyers put to.
It was beyond the flight of my fancy that one day someone might go one step (a huge one) further and put on offer not the private clothes but the 'things' that these clothes are supposed to clothe. Raffella Fico, has done it and interestingly, no feathers are ruffled (or even fluffed) by Raffela's 'frothy' offer. So I have also to learn to not to get dumbfounded by such sizzling stuff.
Though claiming (rather swearing) to be a virgin, Fico seems to be well versed with the tricks of the trade. She has kept at bay the ordeal of putting her 'virginity' under hammer, I mean auctioning it. She has already put a price tag on her prized (at least she thinks so) product and it bears a whopping figure, 'one million euros'. She is very proactive. She says if she found the man who 'buys' her stuff ugly, she would just have a glass of wine, "forget about it" and would quickly get over 'it'. How shrewd of Raffella?
What adds to my perplexity is the claim by Raffella's brother that she is very religious, a devout Catholic and prays 'Padre Pio' every night and she never had a boyfriend (a testimony to her chastity?) How did then this unchaste idea (perhaps from my point of view) germinated in this 'brainy' Fico's germfree brain? Agreed, she desperately need money but is it the right (though shortcut) way to earn the much needed bucks by a girl with religious bent of mind? How is her offer different from the taboo (perhaps no more) word 'prostitution' which every religion decries?
With this 'hard earned' money Raffella wants to buy a house in Rome and pay for the acting classes. (as she told to an Italian magazine). May her dreams get fulfilled! But I suggest her to keep some money aside for buying some self respect from somewhere and for treatment to asphyxiate the pangs of conscience. Her 'dream house' would be a constant reminder of the "struggle" and the "hard work" she undertook to build that house. She would also be able to inspire her offspring to follow her footsteps. What a life it would be for a religious girlie (I mean 'girl') Fico.
A few days ago, I read that a sofa on which actor Glenn Ford supposedly made love to Marilyn Monroe is to be auctioned off in Oct by Glenn's 'spootra' (son) Peter Ford. Why doesn't Raffella grab this offer? What can be a more appropriate item to furnish her dream house, her 'Sweet (or 'Sweat') Home' with?
Oh! Raffella Fico, I wish I had one million euros. You know, what I would have done with that money. No, you guessed wrong. I would not have joined the unending queue of the bidders for the stuff put on 'offer' by you. I would have 'offered' you the money and asked you to call your 'offer' off and offer, nay, present the brittle 'thing' on the 'offer' to your true lover or husband and live happily ever after. Is there any wealthy person listening who shares my views? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
