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| Breaking joint families and disintegrating society | | | Prof. Mahesh Chand Gupta
The soul of our society resides in the family. The biggest strength of the society has been the joint family system. Living together of three generations, taking care of the elderly, inculcating values in children and acceptance among the family was the axis on which our culture and society rested but unfortunately today this strong foundation is crumbling. Joint families are breaking down rapidly and are being replaced by small, nuclear families. As a result, relationships are getting weaker, the elderly are forced to struggle with loneliness and the new generation is getting away from values.
We have always said with pride that our biggest asset is our family. And the family did not only consist of parents and children but also of grandparents, uncles, aunts, and the entire clan of brothers and sisters, which was called a joint family. This system kept us going even in the most difficult times. Today all this is changing.
People of my generation who have seen seventy springs of life have seen and lived the golden era of joint families. That was the time when we used to listen to stories while sitting on grandmother’s lap. Stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata, stories of Panchtantra became our sanskaar in childhood. But now they have been replaced by mobile screens. Children are growing up in the virtual world of cartoons and games, away from the experiences of real life.
In joint families, children grew up under the care of elders. If someone was weak in studies, uncles would help him, if someone fell ill, aunts would immediately come forward to serve him. This cooperation was not limited to the family only but also got embedded in the thinking of children. They would learn to take everyone along and these values would strengthen the society.
The big question is why did our joint families gradually disintegrate? There are many reasons behind this. The biggest reason is consumerist culture. The market wants every family to be divided into small pieces so that a separate TV, separate fridge, separate car can be sold for every house. When a family is divided into four parts, consumption increases four times. This is the strategy of the market.
The second reason is blind imitation of western culture. Media and films have created the image that joint families are the root of quarrels and small families are the symbol of modernity. The youth started feeling that there is no freedom in joint families, but a burden. Slowly, this notion has taken root in the society.
The third reason is the changing lifestyle. In cities, the pressure of jobs, the race for career and the thought of so-called freedom have also pushed the family backwards. Now the young generation has become limited to ‘me and my family’. The fourth reason is the unnecessary interference of many people in the in-laws’ house of their daughters. Due to this, the peace there is disturbed. Sons and daughters-in-law get separated. This is also becoming a big reason for the disintegration of joint families.
But think, how much have we lost in the meantime? Joint family was not just a structure to live in but it was a school of living. Grandparents would teach values to children through stories, parents would discipline them and patience would be developed among brothers and sisters through cooperation and sacrifice. Elders were given respect and protection. Children used to learn values not only from their parents but from the entire family. Responsibility towards the environment, respect for elders, the feeling of ‘Atithi Devo Bhava’ were the gifts of the joint family.
Can anyone deny that India’s great life values like service, sacrifice, tolerance were born in joint families. This is the reason why we survived for thousands of years despite attacks, crises and changes.
On the contrary, the picture of today’s small family is different. Children struggle with loneliness. When parents are busy in jobs, mobile and internet become the support of children. Elders are either neglected or are being pushed into old age homes. Closeness in relationships has decreased and selfishness is increasing. Institutions like marriage are weakening. Options like live-in relationships are increasing. Instability is replacing stability in relationships. The result is that mental stress, depression and insecurity are increasing rapidly in the society.
How sad it is that we talk about the unity of the nation but are unable to save the unity of our own family. The fabric of society has become loose due to the disintegration of joint families. There is no warmth in relationships, there are no values in children and there is no respect for elders. When families break, society also breaks and when society breaks, the unity of the nation also comes under threat.
It is a matter of happiness that organizations like Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh are trying to unite families through Kutumb Prabodhan Abhiyan, but this is not the work of any organization but of the entire society. We ourselves have to decide what kind of India we want to hand over to the next generation? The big question is also how do we move forward? First of all, we have to consider joint family as our cultural property and not a burden. We have to understand that modernity does not mean breaking away from tradition. Real modernity is that in which there is a balance between tradition and progress. Uniting families, giving respect to elders and giving values to children, this is the path by which we can make our society strong again. We have to think that if families break, society will also disintegrate and if families are strong, the country will also be strong.
The breakdown of joint families is not just a social change but the erosion of Indianness. It would be the biggest crime to leave the coming generations to loneliness and consumerism. The disintegration of the family is the first step towards the disintegration of society and the nation. The need is to revive the feeling of belongingness and collectivism that made India the oldest and strongest stream of civilization. Remember - if the family is united, the country will also be united. |
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