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| HANDLING STRESS IN CHILDREN | | | Dr. Bhavneet Kaur | 5/29/2010 11:15:11 PM |
| M.D.S (Pediatric & Preventive dentistry)
Stress has become a part and parcel of the modern day. Adults deal with stress in various ways, from helpful strategies like exercise, meditation, long walks, and turning down overtime or weekend work, to harmful ways like drinking smoking and drugs. But it is important to know how do children deal with stress? Especially small children with under-developed communication skills may display stress very differently than an adult does. Often kids’ stress is internalized and most noticeable in physical symptoms such as frequent flu-like symptoms including headache, stomachache, and even nausea.
Children under stress may regress to behaviors like bedwetting, clinginess, and frequent crying. Behavioral symptoms may be extreme at both ends of a behavior spectrum. A normally active child becomes either listless or hyperactive, a usually docile child has fits of anger or a child that “acts out” becomes docile and introspective.
Depending on their ages and temperaments, some kids withdraw, sulk or zone out, while others act aggressively, talk back, and toss tantrums. Older children may turn to the coping mechanisms that they see their peers using such as smoking, drinking, fighting, sexual activity, eating disorders and delinquency. Adults usually see these activities as behavior problems and underestimate the amount of stress that young people are under today. In reality, these negative behaviors are often attempts to counter stress, push it under, chill out and make it all go away.
When kids are stressed, their first impulse is to relieve discomfort. They don’t sit down and rationally think about the best way to do it. They find relief by acting impulsively or following the paths most readily available to them, the ones they see other kids taking. Most young people simply don’t know more healthy and effective alternatives. Unless we guide them toward positive ways to relieve and manage stress, they will choose the negative behaviors of their peers or the culture they absorb from the media. They will become caught up in a cycle of negative coping methods and risky behaviors such as using alcohol or drugs to relieve their stress. We need to help them avoid that cycle.
All people, even the most stable, reach their limit sometimes. It is not a sign of weakness on our children’s part, nor is it a sign of poor parenting on our part. Whenever your children seem troubled, the first step is to reinforce that you are there to be fully supportive. Listen, give hugs, be a sounding board, sometimes even offer advice, but give them hope that things will get better. If you feel your children need more help than you can give seek the help of your pediatrician who will recommend the most appropriate services you may need.
Most Kids are stressed because they are simply confused following your instructions. Kids live in a “black and white” world. Be clear in setting rules and be consistent with discipline. Blurred guidelines and inconsistencies are even more confusing for them than they are for adults.
Also learn to be a good listener. When your child wants to talk about his or her problems, don’t criticize. It isn’t always necessary to give advice. Sometimes kids just need to talk. Encourage them with open-ended questions like, “So what happened next?” “How do you feel about that?” Teach your kids that everyone (including you) makes mistakes. A good start is admitting your mistakes to your children with an “I’m sorry” or “My mistake” when you are wrong.
Remember just like adults, kids need time to unwind. A vigorous exercise is a good stress reliever. If your kids are bound to video games, television, or a computer, get them on their feet by providing and encouraging the use of active toys like balls or outdoor games. Sometimes just watching a bubble go up has a meditative effect. If your child presently appears to be stressed, make a point of playing with them. Time spent with your kids is a great way for getting them to open up the lines of communication.
Take instant vacations. Make your child use his/her mind to imagine a special place whenever he/she needs to escape stress of the moment. Reading, a nature walk, hobbies all offer great instant vacations. Praying and making your child have faith in the power of prayers can also help your child deal with stress.
Children primarily learn by example. The best way to teach your child how to manage stress is by effectively managing your stressors. First and foremost eat healthy and let your child eat healthy too. A healthy body is better able to withstand stress-induced illness. Schedule regular meals and snack times. Don’t allow your child to skip meals. Also getting enough sleep on a consistent basis is essential for good health and keeping stress levels manageable. So make them sleep well.
Finally, never forget to show your child the love you have for him/her within your heart. Sometimes a hug is worth more than a thousand words. Gentle physical touch is a great healer. Another physical stress reliever can be a gentle massage of your child’s neck and shoulders. Like you, your kids can also get knotted up with stress!
Listen to their physical and emotional needs and don’t stress about the stress-management part. Your undivided and pure love can do wonders. Just enjoy your parenting and let them enjoy your love for them.
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