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| Old age woes Unwanted Guests | | | EARLY TIMES REPORT
Vaibhavi Chandel
JAMMU Dec 19: The memories of childhood always remind of the warm laps of grandpas; their caring cajoling and affectionate hugs. In the earlier times, the grandpas would cherish fading moments of their life in making their grand children grow and walk. Story telling used to be an important
component of upbringing.
This was the glowing fact of yesteryears and the grim reality of the present is somehow disturbing and horrifying. Now the scenario has totally changed with the change of times. In this age of nucleus family structure, the lonely children of working parents, instead of
fiddling in the laps of their grandpas, get glued to small screen, ironically from their infancy.
Still, in most of the traditional Indian families, the grandparents continue to play pivotal role in shaping the destiny of their posterity but the trend is gradually fading. The fortunate children do get the care and affection of the elderly people like blooming buds get from experienced gardeners. But how long, is a big question.
With the concept of joint family system getting eroded fast, the elderly people face the brunt of neglect and abandonment from their dear ones. This callousness rebounds silently and steadily. Most of the children, thus deprived of the opportunity of living with
their grand parents, find themselves at the mercy of their paid care takers or in crèches, much favoured choice of the new generation of working parents.
“The oldies were once treated with respect and regard and the youngsters would get benefited by their experience and guidance”, feels Ramneek Singh of Gandhi Nagar while observing that separation from parents, may be due to certain unavoidable reasons, have changed the perception of the young people altogether. In this materialistic
age, which the new generation calls the age of competition and sustenance for the fittest, the lust for name and fame have taken high toll of elderly parents. The human greed is so intense that one tends to ignore even those who have given best of their life in shaping
destiny of their children.
“With their children migrating to cities and metros, and even abroad, in search of greener pastures, most of the posh city localities wear deserted looks, with occasional appearance of old couples, or sometimes an old lady or an old man, in the backyard. Their status is
not more than handicapped care-takers. This is mostly the trend in the Gandhi Nagar and the Truikuta Nagar areas in the city’, says Ramneek.
“Most of the houses in my vicinity san the brisk activity of their inmates except lonely presence of old parents in despair or tenants”, he avers. “Once, the elderly people were accorded due respect and care; they used to be actively involved in the affairs of the families and mostly their decisions would prevail but now they are like vegetable,
speechless and motionless due to callousness of their children”, says Dr Adrash. “It is not only due to absence of their children from homes in pursuit of their careers but despite them being well settled here they ignore their parents and humiliate them in whatsoever manner”, he says adding that they are treated like unwanted guests.
Young people generally believe their parents to be out-dated, not fit to be ‘showcased’ before their friends and social circles. They are even seen as biggest obstruction by their daughters-in-law in leading, what they call a smooth and secured life, and thus influence their
hubbies to ignore them. This might be giving them some solace but the elders are deprived of well deserved care at the fag end of their life and the infants much needed affection and care.
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