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| Receding Family Values; Old Age Homes | | | Ramesh Pandita | 7/7/2011 12:53:09 AM |
| Nature has been very generous to we humans, it has countenanced us to change the course of our density the way we want. This impliedly also means, we should not complain of those undesirable changes, which we induced and welcomed ourselves and the fact remains every change is not always a welcome change, need is to stick to and accept those changes which are inevitable.
With the advent of 21st century man has bought some phenomenal changes in its pattern of living; society has started transforming at an alarming pace, the pace which some times we humans are unable to handle. Under the prevailing conditions if one talks of society to change at gradual pace may perhaps be accused of committing sin, such is the yearning in the minds of people especially among youngsters who more or less have driven crazy in the lure of luxury, lavish life style with all carelessness and more to accuse of is modernization based on western thought process which somewhat is an ugly face of west. Among so many things one undesirable and unwanted changed which this transformation of society has give us is in the form Old Age Homes.
OLD AGE HOMES: - Definition of old age home varies considerably from person to person but the most common understanding about these homes among general masses is that, these are place, where parents abandoned by their children during old age are shifted for nursing and are left there to die an unknown death. Looking at the gravity of the subject it won’t be improper to say that old age homes include those homes as well, where the old and feeble parents live in their own houses but are abandoned by their children. To many of us, coming into being of these homes may not be that surprising, as they may have already come along these institutions and the trend has already spread to a proportion of its irrevocability. Undesirable changes always receive much faster acceptance in society than any desirable change. Since old age homes have received social acceptance, so to many these homes proved a blessing in disguise especially to those children who deem responsibility of their parents as burden. One should not be surprised if one sees the day when every child may be seen as shifting his/her parents to old age homes or converting their parental home into an old age home.
Reasons for coming into being of old age homes are numerous, but the most prominent factors which can be primarily held responsible and can be seen as contributing to rapid and widespread flourishment of old age homes are, the over busy life, the neo-local concept of family, rapid urbanization, modernization more based on western thought process and lavish lifestyle are a few to name. Old age homes are also now-a-days seen as second home.
Brain drain as we know means emigration of technically skilled & knowledgeable people from home country to host country for the want of better opportunities but the irony is parents of these children are the worst hit group suffering from this old age home menace. Parents, whose wards moved to metropolitan cites for better employment suffer almost equally. Due to ultramodern life style and busy work schedule people find it difficult to strike balance between the two, children don’t find time to visit their parents. There are instances where family’s lone child works in abroad and it takes years together when these children visit their parents, in some cases children couldn’t even turn up at the funeral of their parents.
FAULTY EDUCATION SYSTEM: - Education is said to be the only weapon with which every war can fought and it not about fighting only but also the winning which is its ultimate goal. Concept of education has got derailed, we are no more able to educate children in real sense and the story does not end here, the pathetic part is that we have devalued and diluted the concept of education and have bought it down to the extent of only to secure our means of earning and to help seek better employment. To be educated and to be literate are altogether two different things. A literate person can not necessarily be an educated person and to be educated one need not to be literate. Somewhere formal means of educating children are not working in a sense it should, even it won’t be inappropriate to say that these institutions have not just miserably failed in imparting value based education but have also forgotten their role. Perhaps the time has come when institutions of informal education need come into force and one such institution is family. Role of family as a means of socialization has been advocated through all ages and every civilization has corroborated the same. Concept of second home may not be that surprising, what may surprises one the most is how a child can forget the emotional touch of his/her parents who nurse their child through all odds of life. There can not be any curse bigger to parents if they see the light of the day to be shifted to these homes by their loved ones.
This is where we failed to interpret the meaning of real education. Need is to move beyond the material things which in fact have created a value lag in our society. Neither are we too objective about our actions nor are we able to hold our emotions, it is something like a net which we have woven around ourselves in such a manner that we have put ourselves in a position of being caught between the devil and the deep sea
COLLAPSING JOINT FAMILY STRUCTURES: - In this mad race of modernization, family is one such basic unit of a society which has faced the more burnt. Family values are receding at much greater pace than in any other institution of society. Socialization of a child begins at home and the values imbibed during childhood go a long way in moulding the behavior of a child in conformance to the values of society. With the lure to scale new heights of social strata overnight, young boys and girls squelch every social value under there feet. Influence of westernization has trenched its roots so deep and wide in our society that if taken out people will grow brainsick.
Home is not what comprises of four walls, but of people who besides being near and dear to you live with you, these include, parents, grand parents, sibs, kins and other extended kins. For being emotionally attached we share emotions with them. Even though it won’t be inappropriate to say that it is these people who make a house a home. In joint families till children reach their adulthood, they hardly used to come to know about their real parents, but unfortunately these structures have almost now become nonexistent, such used to be cohesiveness and bonding among family members. Even moving out of family to work in a far off place never used to be a problem as there used to be members who in ones absence used to take care of every other thing. As has time occulted so many things in it so has got the structure of Joint Family replaced by the Neo-local family.
Neo-local family consists of husband wife and their children only. Coming into being of neo-local family set-up was somewhat inevitable. To seek better employment with far greater wages people started moving towards metropolitan cites and to overcome the space problem concept of constructing metropolises came into being, which is more like constructing of pigeon holes for humans, where mostly husband, wife and their one child live. Now-a-days children after marriage prefer to move to this kind of setup straightaway; even it has been observed at places that parents themselves present a pigeon hole to newly wed couple to lead their life their way.
OUR ROLE AND RESPONSIBILITY: -If we look at ourselves, we will see how differently we have treaded the course of life. We have led ourselves there where wants have become unlimited. We possess more than what we desired for, but still there is no peace of mind. We pushed ourselves beyond the limits but of no anvil. We own a cozy bed but still pass sleepless nights. We achieved a lot but still there is no contention. Indeed there are numerous reasons and factors which contribute to coming into being of old age homes, but how does this mean we can not sacrifice individual interests for larger interests and there can not be any interest larger than the interest of family. Parenting is one such important area which deserves attention, because children at an appropriate age start reflecting the values imbibed during childhood. Also, there is no denial in it that outside the institution of family a child receives more social education, especially when one starts interacting with other institutions of society through peers, contemporaries, colleagues etc. and they make a profound impact on the behavior and conduct of a person. But among everything, family as an institution has to play a far greater role with far greater responsibility in making the social and family values perpetual.
By:
Ramesh Pandita
Assistant Librarian
BGSB University, Rajouri, J & K
Email [email protected]
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