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| . LOVE, SEX, RAPE AND DESERTION | | | KHUSHWANT S RANIAL | 10/8/2011 10:04:55 PM |
| The concept of modern friendship between opposite genders has changed altogether with the fast changing values of life. Love once rated to be union of two souls to gain eternal bliss has ceased and replaced by the unity of mind, physical bodies to seek sexual pleasure for a momentarily period. The newer ideology of love does not hold rich sanctity. It reflects opportunism, selectivity, weak emotional bondage, suspicion, and above all lack of trust on one another. It has converted into the probability of permutations and combinations. In other words, it is based on the mode of compromises. All such growth and development has led into the emergence of depression, anxiety, insensitivity, impatience, increasing divorce rate and suicidal tendencies.
The piousness in the forward mobility of the family structure has suffered a severe jolt regardless of the topography, culture, caste and clan. The history which stand testimonials to the love affairs of Laila- Majnu ,Sheeri –Faryad , Heer- Ranja, Saleem –Anarkali , Soni- Mehiwal ,Jahangir –Mumtaz and Romeo –Julliet etc. were selfless surrender and true from the core of their hearts for one another and still survive as the prime examples to quote with but the love affairs of present generation is full of greed , eye mostly on the bank balances ,copious property of the partner to seek material enjoyment ,short lived beauty ,family status and possible scope of using the partner ‘s status as a ladder in social mobility in the societal hierarchy. Undoubtedly, the barrier of caste’s has broken and we find souls of different regions, castes, religion, communities extending hands forward to one another to tie the nuptial knots which is a good sign on one hand for the promotion of humanistic culture but the success rate is very discouraging and shocking ones, leaving the lives of the involved partners very often in a apathetic state.
The rising graph of unabated criminal acts committed on the women in India in the recent decades speaks itself the volume of respect the hard gender hold for the soft gender in social milieu. How unfortunate it is to acknowledge with shame that they have been subjected to rape , cruel beatings ,dowry deaths ,defaced , by throwing acids on the bodies, of those one who show reluctance to toe to the interested ones. The changed definition of love has confined now to cover the sexual urge. The true affection towards one another is no more a lasting issue .Friends keep on changing like dresses are changed every now and then. Where mutual consent prevails, stays and privacy remains intact, pre martial intercourses are not a matter of concern among the adolescents especially but where the silence breaks, truth is revealed then to cover the lost dignity and hide the stark realities of life as well as to escape from stigmatisation, a hue and cry is made out amounting to commission of rape having taken place.
This new emerging trend is truly shocking and unacceptable as it leads to the deterioration of the moral values. Such type of reported incidents indirectly makes a revelation about the lowering of ethical values from our cultural set up .There is loss of control of the senior family members upon their young growing siblings. In other words, too much freedom or unbridled liberty to stay together has given ample opportunity to both the growing different genders to accommodate the rising passion. But due to the lack of experience of the life ,the over indulgence in to the physical intimacy leads both of them to the erosion of faith between themselves as a result of which quick switch over of the old relations does take place. Sometimes such events breed animosity and ill will for one another to the point non reconciliation. In simpler words, the concept of the love has gained newer dimensions where there is selfishness, personal motives, myopic regard, shady personal interactions and above all, development of chameleon like feelings to make the hay while the sun shines only.
Hearty relations hold no more relevance in the modern times. In fact, the upcoming generation is very subtle, fast, clever, does not wish to walk on the tight rope forever. They believe in the theory of experimentation, consistent change, instead of banking on the worn out traditions of regimentation. Living in relations has become a prevalent reminding of the Mutta Marriage concept. It matters least if any one‘s heart, sentiments, emotional feelings are hurt or dies .They place personal likings ahead to their parent’s wishes. Generally girls being sober in approach are over ridden by the built castles in the Rome by the boys. They fail to pick up the real thread and mostly their stakes end in mess. The opening of cyber cafes, marriages bureaus, false job placements offers, dreams of becoming Bolly wood female stars or T V anchors, models etc. have added miseries to the lives of many innocent budding beautiful girls. In fact, the craze of going to the foreign countries has looted them not only physically but economically as well leaving them in dire straits. The day dreaming of becoming rich in the shortest possible time without certifying the background details and facts often leads soft gender to get victimised of the excesses committed upon them and face humiliation. It is very unfortunate that increasingly rapes have been committed by the known trusted acquaintances rather than the strangers. Under such circumstances, nothing else can restore the lost dignity, honour and self respect robbed by the rapes and nor any act can help to remove the trauma borne by the victim.
Sometimes it has come to the fore that even excesses have been committed upon the male members by the females and they have also become the victim of the hard gender tag. Our courts are flooded with such cases where male members have been entangled in the fake and frivolous cases to cash the property and amounts. This type of cheap acts which amount to cheating is due to improper application of the flexible legal provisions .Such provisions of law make mockery of the gender justice system which do not hold balance. In gist, the love, sex, rape and finally desertion or break up is not a good sign of the harmonious growth and development of fast growing society .It is a sign of intrusion of the western culture into the Indian culture .There is no doubt that with changing times ,one should move forward but at the cost of losing personal image is equally unadvisable. A consensus needs to be evolved by the society to bear the responsibility to mark a line of acceptance or disapproval for keeping the morality intact otherwise days are not far off that we may have to repent upon for not initiating the action to stem the rot
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