news details |
|
|
| Of Parents and Children | | | D.K. Vaid, | 12/18/2011 12:02:21 AM |
| | 'Goodness, boy! If you don't like it, alter it; and if you can't alter it, put up with it.' This was the quick advice of Mrs.Morel to her impulsive son when he groaned about a master, who, he said hated him. The woman protagonist of D.H.Lawrence's 'Sons and Lovers' was surely not the first mother to load her son with an advice like that. And she certainly is not the last. Children while growing, have to bear with many a thing, a lot of them not pleasantly likeable. From their height to weight and from their biceps to their pocket money; things are never as per their aspirations. If you are brainy type and wish to discuss issues with your Dad, you find that the senior is under his own airs of intellectualism and has no time for a mere kid. The child, under his scheme of principles, is the responsibility of the mother. The mother, unfortunately, is so struck by the stomach that she simply refuses to go beyond her cuisine and culinary. Her happiness lies in thrusting food down the hapless throat of her beloved child. She has no time to read between the lines. The poor child, satiated in stomach, wishfully desires a lunch for his brain, but who cares! On the contrary and in consonance with God's will, the child with a closed mind and open belly; is so situated that his father wishes him to be a seeker of knowledge. His mother's regular prayer to the gods is the prayer of a weary cook who is suffering from unfailing gluttony of her ever eating son. It is okay to ask a question as to why the children generally tend to do what they aught not to do. But why the same question is not put to the parents, as well? Did't Paul Morel's mother know that her frail son couldn't alter all that which he disliked? Could he, for example, exchange his master, the one who hated him, with someone nicer? Not, I suppose, without leaving the school! And Mrs. Morel knew that Paul could not not. Yet she, instead of facing the uncomfortable situation or seeking a solution to the mental agony, (perceived or true as it may be), of her son; took refuge under an advice. For, advising is the easiest way out. The second best being indifference! All those who are responsible for the welfare of the children, have the inherent vice of bearing one or the other, that is, advice or the indifference, around their necks. And almost all children know it. But, sadly, a large number of parents act in ignorance and claim to be doing this for their children.. We wish that parents would have read Stacia Tauscher. He says, 'We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.' There are many books in the market, titled such as; Right Parenting, Friendly Parenting, Creative Parenting etc. But are there not as many available about Controlling of Anger? Even then the anger exists in abundance. Wrong parenting too, is all around; despite knowledge of right parenting only a book stall away. Books in the market and their reading in the common rooms will be of no use till we put our belief in the maxim that the smallest deed is greater than the grandest intentions. The biggest cleave between the children and the parents is that the child has more trust in a deed, whereas his parents rest their belief on intentions. A natural example of this could be that a child kicks when he wishes to, but elders are controlled by several factors and are not able to kick even when they have an earnest intention to do so. The fact of the matter is that the parents generally, are 'theorists', unlike children who profess 'practice' as their religion. All elders derive pleasure and satisfaction from teaching their wards a wisdom which they themselves have long forsaken. An affectionate father was, once admonishing his son, 'Yesterday is a cancelled cheque, tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have. So, spend it wisely.''But Dad', said the son, 'You have always been talking of your yesterdays or my tomorrows. Is not your present worth any cash?' The father, a knowledgeable person, folded his tongue politely and mused upon his act. It dawned upon him that his child doesn't need a teacher; he needs a model figure for the lessons of life. Then, there is the story of a scowling mother who would try to tell lovely tales through a stony face. One day she told her sulking daughter, 'Look, a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.'The little girl thought for a while and then broke into a broad smile. But she asked her mother a question too.Why don't you, Mom, wish to improve your looks?' This is what I call, wisdom in operation. The parents wish to prove their knowledge; the children wish to use theirs. That is how the theorists and practioners have been on an uncommon plane. A chair despite its best designing will only remain a furniture piece, unless it is used as a seat. Sitting converts the chair from 'piece' to the 'piece of use'. All parents need this transformation, so that their children could use the 'chairs' to sit on; for else they all will remain 'mere pieces' - artifacts displayed in a museum. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
STOCK UPDATE |
|
|
 |
| BSE
Sensex |
 |
| NSE
Nifty |
|
|
| |
CRICKET UPDATE |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
