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| Sense of gratitude among youth | | | Dr. Pragya Khanna | 12/26/2011 11:14:16 PM |
| Last week as I was sitting in my parked vehicle outside a famous store in a posh area of Gole Market, I saw a group of young girls moving towards the entrance. A middle aged woman who was about to step out held the door so that they can make their way inside. I observed as the girls approached they made no eye contact with the woman who was smiling and walked passed through the door without even pausing to slide the gracious woman a quick thank you or a smile. They were stuck in their own little world walking with an air of righteousness that left me flabbergasted while I held back my innate desire to stick my foot out.
What has caused our teens to lack an attitude of gratitude? A mind that is grateful is open to all possibilities. A person with a sense of gratitude is able to recognize good things happening in life. It is to be grateful to others for making your own life comfortable and this sense comes out of inner feeling. It reflects good personal and moral value and makes us feel better and improves self-esteem.
It is not only in the interest of the individual but also in the larger interest of his/her family, friends and society that one must be appreciative of all the positive things in life. The teens must be taught how to be grateful for the small moments of joy that life offers.
It is not uncommon nowadays to encounter anyone of the situations or the like every now and then in the society; viz., you walk behind a person as they enter a building and have the door slammed in your face when it could have easily been held for you or you are about to walk into an elevator and a person who could have seen you coming if they just looked hits the "close door" button right when you are about to get in or you sit on a train and see an elderly person standing and holding on for dear life while a group of teenagers take up seats or you sit next to someone on the train, at a sporting event, or some other public place and they talk on their cell as if no one else is around them or you have someone not use their turn signal and almost cause you to slam into them and so on and so forth, the list is endless.
Think about the impact these actions have on others and find ways to make that impact a positive one for everyone involved. I strongly believe that this awareness can only lead to stronger relationships, more opened doors in all aspects of life, everyone treating each other like a person versus a category, and the great feeling of receiving a thank you for something that took little or no effort on your part. I am sure all you parents out there want your kids to grow into better individuals, form a healthy society, for their own betterment and for the betterment of the humanity.
Happiness often has its roots in a person's sense of gratitude. An appreciative person is usually a more pleasant person to be with than someone who is bitter. There are countless reasons why gratitude is an attribute that must be encouraged in children, including the fact that grateful children are more enjoyable to raise. Though we cannot insist teenagers to be grateful, there are many ways that we, as adults, can encourage teens to develop a grateful outlook on life.
People normally in today's society do not admit support from others, they like to be seen competitive, aggressive and successful on their own merit. This self-centered attitude makes people egoistic, and turns them away from developing gratitude. Expressing gratitude helps us to cope with the difficulties in life. It is beneficial to express gratitude to others for all the good things done to us. This way we are able to feel connected with others and maintain social bonding.
One of the biggest factors contributing to the general lack of gratitude shown by teens these days is that they feel they 'deserve' or are 'entitled to' what they have or are given. As a parent it is your job to clarify the difference between rights and privileges. For example, you as a parent need to help your teen understand that while they have the right to be clothed, it is a privilege to have the name brand clothes, and sheer volume of clothes they have. This is just one simple example, there are many more. For example, it is their right to attend school, but it is a privilege to get to drive instead of ride on the bus. One of the best ways to clarify the difference for your teen is to help them understand that they do not earn rights, but they need to earn privileges. Start making them earn it, and soon they will recognize the difference. It is when they receive too much for too little that they feel entitled. More importantly, if you want your teen to be someone who shows gratitude, be the role model yourself. Show gratitude, recognize when it is shown to you, and be appreciative of opportunities for gratitude. Many studies have shown that this simple act leads to positive change, a greater sense of happiness and a positive attitude.
Parents have to model behavior they hope their children adopt as their own. A simple, sincere expression of gratitude when the kids do something they were asked to do is always appropriate. Taking an extra moment to thank a sales clerk at the store or to tip your news carrier for getting the paper on the porch every day lets them know that gratitude is acceptable and encouraged. A little common courtesy can go a long way, and taking time to notice the little acts of service in a family or a neighborhood can be so positive. Look for ways to say thank you often. A little extra effort can go a long way in teaching children the importance of being thankful and of expressing thanks in a sincere and meaningful way.
When one feels grateful, it tends to be a lasting and selfless feeling. It is much more than just a brief burst of positive energy; it has staying power that inspires you to reach your goals. Gratitude can mean better communication all around. By expressing your gratitude to strangers, they often will be more likely to show an interest in helping you as well.
You can express criticism quite effectively when you also emphasize what you appreciate about them. You can preserve memories in a positive way and be able to enjoy your memories again and again. Grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress. The disposition toward gratitude appears to enhance pleasant feeling states more than it diminishes unpleasant emotions. Grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life and keep moving with a positive attitude. So guys! Go ahead and try it. No one has the right to the thanks or the help of others but everyone has the ability to offer both to everyone around them.
God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds each day. Have you used one to say "thank you?"
--William A. Ward |
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