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| MARRIAGE AND PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT | | | Dr. Pragya Khanna | 2/2/2012 10:34:09 PM |
| From this day forward,
You shall not walk alone.
My heart will be your shelter,
And my arms will be your home.
Marriage is the process by which two people who love each other make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the union of two people in a bond that normally lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. Evidently, over the course of a relationship that can last as many as seven or eight decades, a lot happens. Personalities change, thinking patterns get modified, families add or reduce, financial situations transform, bodies age and romantic love waxes and wanes. It is universally true that no marriage is free of disagreements, inconsistency and conflicts. What enables a couple to endure is how they handle that conflict.
The institution of matrimony is not just about emotional and physical union but it is also a financial union. Give it a thought, you’re planning your wedding, should you plan on a prenuptial agreement, too? Prenuptial agreements allow spouses to decide how they want to deal with their finances instead of using state law to define their rights and responsibilities. Learn when and why a prenup might be advisable, and how to prepare one.
A prenuptial agreement is a private agreement between two persons considering marriage. The couple normally settles, in advance, the financial matters in the event of death or divorce. Even lifestyle or non-financial topics also may be included.
However, embarking upon a marriage is a wonderful time in life, emotions are running high and you have great optimism about the future you will build together. The last thing you want to do is jeopardize your love by discussing mundane things like who brings home the grocery, who cooks food and who cleans up after. But what better time one finds to talk about equality in marriage than when the two of you have never felt closer? You both need to commit to parity in marriage from the beginning. It is principally imperative to create a prenuptial agreement (also referred to as premarital agreements and marriage contracts) that reflects equality in financial matters.
Asking each other serious questions about how you see finances in the marriage partnership may save you pain and money later and might even save your marriage. I agree it is tough sometimes unpleasant not to mention unromantic to discuss dividing material goods and assigning debts before you reserve the wedding hall, but don’t be shy about bringing up the subject. What could be more romantic than to spend several hours together looking ahead to the rich and wonderful life you will build together and discussing how you will make your dreams come true?
One should consider having a prenup if one falls into any of the following categories:
• Having assets such as a home, car, policies, bank balances
• Own all or part of a business
• Inheritance of property
• Children from a previous marriage
• One is much wealthier than the other
• Having loved ones who need to be taken care of, such as elderly parents
• Pursuing a degree or license in a potentially lucrative profession such as medicine
Divorce cases are rising at an alarming magnitude today, as the tolerance levels have gone down plus people are becoming aware of their rights.
However, the mindset we have makes us think that if the woman makes a move toward a prenup, she’s trying to extract money from her husband. But that’s not factual. Sometime, women don’t get what is due to them as their husbands don’t disclose their income; there is a real lack of transparency,”
Some people may be hesitant to enter a prenup with their beloved, because they believe it destroys the romance and fantasy of their upcoming marriage. A prenuptial agreement, however, gives a couple a chance to share their hopes and dreams with one another and articulate their aspirations. The best opportunity of living up to one another’s expectations is knowing what they are in advance and finding out what it is that your partner holds dear. A prenup can strengthen the delight of a relationship by drawing out the couple’s desires, promoting communication and enabling partners to establish for themselves the rules of their marriage. A relationship based on reality is stronger than a relationship built on illusion.
Good counsel that would certainly have served 29-year-old Meena well and saved her numerous sleepless nights. Married at 23, divorced at 26 with a two-year-old child, Meena’s story of dismay is the stuff of daily soaps; an abusive mother-in-law, a violent husband and constant dowry demands. What can a woman who has not signed a prenuptial agreement do to ensure an even-handed financial deal in case of a divorce?
Since it is an exceptionally emotional time, women tend to get awfully overwhelmed, and the strain often prevents them from thinking through their finances and by the time their head clears, it is often too late. As controversial as a divorce is, anxiety related to the division of assets adds further insult to injury; a prenup simply ensures one’s stability in life in all circumstances. Just a few years ago, a prenup was almost unheard of in India. But, since then, numbers have been climbing steadily at least in metro cities.
On the other hand, they are just uncommon, I think, given that a vast majority of the population can’t even read, and literacy rates among women even poorer. How would one know that women who can’t (i.e. not allowed to) even choose who to marry/date/talk to, how much dowry to give or not to give, how many children to have or not to have, will suddenly be able to decide that they want no maintenance although they have spent all their productive years in child/elder/traditions care?
Marriages in India are supposed to be very sacred and considered to be once in a lifetime affair. The marriage occasion is an integral part of social traditions and rituals in which both side family members get involved very emotionally and their community members participate to give blessings for the happy married life. But very recently, increasing number of married couples are experiencing distress and incompatibilities. Due to various socio-economic factors, there is a quick increase in the discontent marriages in India as a result of which, the rate of divorces and separations have gone up. By this unpredictable social disaster, the family courts and other courts, police administration and various counselling cells are feeling helpless due to sudden onslaught of matrimonial problem related cases.
Another side of the coin shows a common custom in India where a lot of social and legal concerns are expressed for wives in cases of matrimonial disputes, but husbands and their family members are ignored. It turns more fatal to the husband and his entire family when the trivial marriage disputes are given shape of the cruelty to wife due to dowry demands by false intentions of a promiscuous wife. The facts of the matter may be totally different, which are deliberately deformed to gain benefit from women-favoured laws of India. There are stringent laws made in favour of women, which are normally misused against those husbands and their parents who don’t agree to their wives’ demands. So it unfavourably impacts the entire family, and rightly proves that the moment of marriage in Indian society is that important decision of life, which can extremely change the lives of not only husband and wife but also the lives of parents.
The key to a successful and happy relationship is the willingness of the couple to work hard at keeping their relationship healthy. There is no ‘perfect’ marriage. But there are many couples who have managed to work through their differences and keep their marriages vibrant and alive.
In today’s modern times where woman is the equal counterpart of man having equal rights, education, awareness, marriage is no longer an enforced ritual. The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, it’s a choice you make not just on your wedding day, but over and over again and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife and in the way you plan your life’s journey together.”
Make a prenup agreement to live happily ever after....................
And with this ring our lives will start,
Let nothing keep our love apart.
I'll take your hand to hold in mine,
And be together through all time. |
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