Early Times Report
JAMMU, Aug 12: Going by the recent, rather ugly, happenings in the Principal Resident Commissioner's (PRC) office in New Delhi, it is time we compiled a simple 7-step guide for all backdoor entrants (that our state abounds in) to help them not only survive but thrive and flourish with impunity.
1. Flaunt your lineage: Because you are nobody, with no qualifications, expertise or experience to talk of, keep on talking of the "greatness" of your father, father-in-law or whosoever got you in government service. It should work most of the time in the colonial mindset of "mai-baap" that most of us suffer from.
2. Get a Godfather: Because your lineage may not be able to save you always, hitch your wagon to a strong star immediately. The higher he be in the State bureaucracy, the better.
3. Be unapologetically corrupt: Don't just be corrupt yourself, but surround yourself with corrupt cronies. Don't be stingy here, because the more you share, the more you can loot. For example, going by our hero here, don't just refuse to pay for your board and lodging, but get the cooks to raise highly inflated bills for mutton biryani or gushtabbas, or the most expensive dish you can think up, that MUST be served to visiting officers, and take your "cut". See that room rent especially for the unauthorised is always collected in cash with no receipts issued.
4. Have no qualms about legalities, propriety: If CM's cook wants Rs. 5000 every time CM visits Delhi even for a day, enrol him too in your Empire of Loot. If CM's residence's electricity bills come to over Rs. 60,000 per month and phone bills over Rs. 10,000 per month, remember for the 7 Akbar Road residence that CM doesn't stay in, just pay it. Also ensure that the poor CM doesn't even get a wind of these payments. Don't also ever bother to find out if any Rules, as applicable for the Governor, permit such payments.
5. Remove Competition: Strike at every one who could replace you so that you only remain omnipresent and indispensable. For our ARC, this first meant Deepika Sharma, the Addl. Secretary who was branded a trouble-maker because she had raised some RTI queries and summarily removed and posted as Deputy Labour Commissioner Delhi. Next, was Natasha Singh, Undersecretary who was attached to GAD. Again it doesn't matter if no enquiry is able to substantiate any of these really wild and outrageous charges. Is it because the involved are all women and also belong to the less-favoured region of Jammu? Can't be certain because the ARC was able to pack off even Suraiya Jabeen the Dy. Secretary just after three months of her posting to Delhi.
6. Serve only those who matter: And service here means anything and everything that your masters desire. If this means that you don't attend office during normal office hours, so be it. After all, your office hours should begin at 6pm when everyone else has gone home, because this is what is required. We leave rest to the readers' imagination.
7. If taking on a senior, go a step above and sabotage: If you are taking on a FC rank officer like Sonali Kumar the PRC, then float a false charge of her not escorting the House Committee of MLCs for three days when that Committee had formally issued a notice to the Govt. for just one meeting at 4pm on 18 July 2013 that Sonali did attend and supervise. |
